Lessons from A Husband, Cancer, Corollas, Waffles & Deisheveled Pillows.

It's been a year of change, and about 9 months since I've posted to my blog. Yikes town . I've come to terms the fact that our very existence demands our ability to adapt and change. Sometimes we are complacent, then out of the blue we're nailed with the unexpected. If we anticipate the bumps, the turns , the failures and the triumphs, it makes it easier to just roll with it. Here are a few changes that have taken place this year that I've really learned from.

1. Mesh Lives With My Spouse- A Serious Note 

Who knew I would end up marrying a random blind-date I went out with 5 years ago, who dropped me off early, when the baseball game was boring? Either way, circumstances and maybe a little fate brought us together and we eventually decided to start a life together. Marriage teaches me that life is about love and forgetting our own frivolous problems. It' teaches me to be my own person--and then yet commit myself to my other half.  Supporting their endeavor to grow and reach their dreams and not getting caught up in myself. In our short time as "The Tuttles,"... service, humor, compassion, sacrifice, trust, patience, commitment, humility and perspective have emerged as our principles by which we are building our foundation. "To love another person is to see the face of God." That my friends, is manifest more and more every day.

2. Your Best Friend Gets Cancer 

No one thinks Cancer will come intro your life. Perhaps it is because we convince ourselves that horrible things should can only happen to horrible people.  I've gleaned some profound lessons as I've watched my dear friend fight Cancer- Never question a feeling that you may have to do something nice for someone who is struggling. You serve that person and do what little you can to sustain them. Often I've wondered, as I've watched her struggle... "What can I do?" I've realized that at no time should we feel incapable of just being their friend. Continue to laugh and have the good times you had before the hard times hit. Kim has taught me that our trials do not and should not define us. Nothing is more important than our relationships--friends and family make our lives rich and beautiful. Kim epitomizes life to the filling it with goodness and love. I will be forever grateful to her for teaching me to find the good in each day. Don't wait for something as awful as Cancer to strike, for you to relish your life and relationships that are right in front of you. 

3. You sell your Audi & Buy a Toyota Corolla 

About 9 days after marrying my husband, I divorced my Audi & became a Toyota lovin' Tuttle. Driving the Toyota away for the first time was a euphoric moment for me. Right then and there, I grew up a little. As if getting married didn't feel different and "adult" enough? Me: "This car is slow. It's not sexy." Mark: "Welcome to life for the majority of us." Isn't he so logical? Surprisingly that is one of my most treasured attributes of Mark. I've been welcomed with open arms to the life of cheaper gas, repairs, reliability, practicality and straight up awesomeness.  After one week of commuting downtown, I realized that life doesn't have to be fast. Dollars and energy spent making expensive European car repairs, just doesn't always make tons of cents. The choice was humbling, logical and a no brainier. My Corolla is slow and fantastic, but we are riding our way to a big ole' down-payment on our first home. We love being debt free and saving our moo-lah.

4.  Enjoy Waffles Every Once in a While...

Mark and I went to a wedding a few months ago and had some waffles. I knew then, that those waffles were the best thing that I had ever consumed. Sometimes we are destroyed by Pinterest, Mom-Blogs and other Social Media outlets that put unnecessary pressure on us to live our lives a certain way. Cross Fit, Paleo and Essential Oil obsessions, to name a few.  These mindsets can consume us to the point of depletion. They cause us to lose sight and satisfaction of our often "normal" sometimes very "average" lives. We live in a kooky day & age where people seem to infatuate over things like "Kondo-ing" your entire closet. Those game-changing wedding waffles really taught me the principle of "Moderation in All Things"...RELAX! Eat healthy, indulge every once in a while, exercise as often as you can, take care of the people around you, be tolerant of others and don't be too hard on yourself. Don't get so caught up with what you believe to be"right" that you lose sight of kindness. Don't let obsessions take you down the road that leads to disengagement with others with contrasting views.

5. Live with a Man & Embrace Disheveled Decorative Pillows

I could go on for a good long minute about what I've learned from living with a man. Just as I wrote this I heard a confident and eager request--"Hey Monk (my nickname)...can you come scratch my back?" A simple request you might say? Perhaps if he weren't in the bathroom it would be. Next, when I lived alone, painting my nails in bed at night wasn't a big deal. I'm learning to be OK with the bed not being made perfectly on his side. I'll choose to love him for trying. Most men just don't understand the concept of decorative pillows. Rarely are they placed in the "right" order (see, this is when I exercise said tolerance). Life will go on. Yes, the concept of taking them off every night, only to put them back on a few hours later, doesn't make tons of sense. Another lesson has been that of logic vs. emotion. Grocery shopping for me is --easy on the carbs-- For him? Soda & chips. Ladies, don't be a hater because men can pound an entire bag of chips during your fave show and then somehow LOSE a pound the next morning. Just don't fight it. It's inexplicable. Lastly, I'm learning to embrace the beautiful moment when a cold beverage is extended to me through the shower curtain. I was unfamiliar with the concept before living with a man, but I've learned to recognize it at an act of love.